***Work In Progress***

I don't normally make a habit of putting disclaimers before a poem of mine but this one is very raw and unfinished but I just want to post it anyway...I will finish it eventually...

***Work In Progress***

I can’t seem to stop smiling
Since you’ve been on my mind
It has been a long time coming
And worth the wait I’ll find.

We got off to an awkward start,
But it is all coming into place.
You took my breath away last night,
With that sweet look upon your face.

You were worried I wouldn’t respect you,
But let me assure you that that’s not so.
I got confused so quickly,
I forgot to let our friendship grow.

I feel so safe and protected,
When you let me hold your hand.
I’m new at this, so I might be shy,
I know you’ll understand.

I still cannot stop grinning,
And this smile upon my face,
Is shouting out when I cannot,
As my heart begins to race.

You set my spirit giggling,
And I'm distracted though and through,
I'm not worried about a thing today,
For we have started something new.

Answers

So, what do you do if you’re in love?

Do you cry about love?

Do you beg on bended knee?

Do you scream on a crowded bus?

Do you pour yourself,

And him,

Into pursuit too much, too strong, too often?

 

Is that what you want?

Is it lust that you want?

Or do you just think he is the goal?

I can do, or be anything for him,

Except perfect or matching or any more.

I am not sure I want to be any less.

 

It is a long and splendid journey,

Or so I am told.

Is it worth it?

Will I like it?

What if I cannot let go?

Cannot release, renew, behold?

I want to be held.

 

I think too much,

Do too much,

Laugh too much,

Quit too much, for me, to love me.

Maybe that is what it is.

Maybe that is what I need to see.

Maybe he needs to see me,

Pinky's Poetry

Welcome...be sure to check out the January archives as there are more poems listed in there...enjoy, or don't - it is always your choice. Check out my other blog as well at http://www.pinkythepoet.blogspot.com

I am Canadian

I am Canadian
Walking alone,
In my Nehru Jacket,
Complete withBouffant hairdo.

“Sock it to me”
“I wanna fall in love,
American Style”
She screams.

“Hey baby,
Looking for a date?”
“Ed the pimp
Purchased my french nails.”

Rebels lead to suicide and
At the Orange
Tooty FruityTopless bar,
Souls are for sale.

Its all about,
Lawrance of Arabia,
And dreaming my dreams
American Style.

I'm Listening

I don't need to see a therapist;
I just need to write more.
There is nothing a counselor can tell me,
that I can't figure out on my own.
Isn't that what they do anyway?
They just help you figure out what is going on.
I'll figure it out if I can tell someone.
All I need to tell is this paper.
With my pen as my mouth, it is just he and I.
I'll spill the contents of my soul,
To a complete stranger with
A white face and three eyes,
And thirty-three horizontal blue scars.
I don't need a therapist;
I have paper listening to me.

Not mine...

Okay, I didn't write this one, but it was written about me by a friend -

For: J***
By: Loretta Schmidt

Why do you insist on being unloved?
Why do you press your nose against the glass?
You watch the world spin around you,
Never knowing how much we miss you.

Why do you insist on calling yourself down?
You cannot accept your own beauty,
You hide it from the world,
Keeping your secret treasure close.

God made you for a reason
And many have come to realize
We'd like for you
to share.

You press your nose agains the glass,
Watching as other call you.
You cannot hear,
For you're blocking the love out.

There's a saying,
"There's a door if you'd like"
Now why don't you use it?
And take a chance on love.

It was you who said,
"If you cannot love you cannot live,
For love and life are the same."
Does that mean that you are dead?

And we have killed you?
Or are you alive,
And we have saved you?
We'd live with you if you'd let us.

Silence

Unspoken words
Can bring sorrow and pain
When people not saying
Have something to gain.

I sit here in silence,
With people and stare,
When looking means seeing,
And floors are too bare.

The words are running and living,
But not to come out,
They are not undeserving,
Of an external shout.

Shouting and fear,
Go hand in hand,
As people who hear words,
Just can't understand.

Now I'm not too certain,
That you think, I'm sure,
Of feelings and loved ones,
Who read literature.

These writings I write,
They ought to be read,
Just as the thinkings I think,
They ought to be said.

Rain

The rain drops they glisten,
As tears from my heart,
Shout
Softly, yet noticed,
As they flow quickly out.

Out from within,
As the good from the bad,
The separation eternal,
No purpose to be had.

No purpose? You say,
You being me?
Me being who?
I am all I can see.

I am who I am,
And the question remains,
Who is I am,
But the God of the rain.

The God of the rain,
Controls the raindrops that glisten,
As tears from my heart,
Shout
Softly, yet heard,
If only you listen.

Thanks

I was sitting in a crowded
Empty
Room, I was starring at my goal
Of perfect error.
At this moment or that moment
I suppose
I was overwhelmed by the satisfyingly
Comfortable
Feeling of Love. It was all tangled up,
Twisted and
Clear.
Like a rope or strong chord,
Mangled and oh so very beautiful.
The idea was dreamy as in
Unimaginable,
Or indescribable, a confusion of reality
And day sleeping and nite-dreaming.
This tortured mess of
Confused security,
Wrapped around me,
Starting with my big toe,
And ending,
With the split knotted blonde hair
And straightened smile
My heart exhumed a twinkling beat
My cheeks flushed a rosy tinge...
To this day I know not from where
This gift came,
Such an affectionate gesture, a
Hug.

My Friend

Thank you for being
A friend to me.
In times of laughter,
In times of joy,
In times of giggles.

Thank you for being
Around when I need you,
To hug,
To hold,
To cry.

Thank you for being
A person who listens,
To the stories,
The anger,
The crazy.

Thank you for being
Just a "bing" away,
For procrastination,
Frustration,
And Laughing Out Loud.

Thank you for being
A wonderful person,
Who cares,
Who shares,
Who loves.

Choices

Growing up is a challenge
That I am not afraid to meet
Life is so very full of lessons
From every person on the street

I wake up each morning,
And every single day,
I am greeted by the thought,
That I have choices to do and say.

Each time I put my socks on
First on my left then right,
I am reminded of my choices,
That I may have made last night.

Next, I think I’ll go to school,
So I can learn some more,
Repetition is my enemy,
Bad habits, I abhor.

I smile and greet my neighbors,
As I walk through hall A and B,
I wonder what’s around the corner,
What lesson will I see?

To each of you who read this,
I have some advice to give,
If you can’t look for life’s lessons,
You’ll never learn how to live.

I am Me

I am beautiful
I am trusting
I am independent
I am empathetic
I am compassionate
I am passionate
I am open-minded
I am courageous
I am confident
I am listening.

I am gentle
I am romantic
I am softhearted
I am humorous
I am learning
I am poetic
I am family-oriented
I am maternal
I am self-evaluating
I am democratic.

I am friendly
I am loved
I am me
I am trusting
I am cautious
I am driven
I am an individual
I am opinionated
I am loyal
I am receptive.

I am here for you
I am creative
I am complicated
I am generous
I am a packrat
I am sure of my beliefs
I am motivated
I am reflective
I am caring
I am impulsive

I am a dreamer
I am encouraging
I am smiling
I am lovely
I am learning
I am never alone
I am here
I am here
I am never alone
I am never alone.

I am growing
I am singing
I am procrastinating
I am smart
I am strong
I am empathetic
I am listening
I am forgiving
I am knocking
I am here.

Answers

So, what do you do if you’re in love?
Do you cry about love?
Do you beg on bended knee?
Do you scream on a crowded bus?
Do you pour yourself,
And him,
Into pursuit too much, too strong, too often?

Is that what you want?
Is it lust that you want?
Or do you just think he is the goal?
I can do, or be anything for him,
Except perfect or matching or any more.
I am not sure I want to be any less.

It is a long and splendid journey,
Or so I am told.
Is it worth it?
Will I like it?
What if I cannot let go?
Cannot release, renew, behold?
I want to be held.

I think too much,
Do too much,
Laugh too much,
Quit too much, for me, to love me.
Maybe that is what it is.
Maybe that is what I need to see.
Maybe he needs to see me,

Romance

So much depends
Upon

Moonlight and
Beer

Changing your
Vision

Forgetting I am
Human

Maturity

It must be difficult for you
To always be right
To know all things
To be all things

It must be hard to be you
With all your wisdom
And insight
Just aching to get out

Do you find it hard to breathe?
When your ego is swollen
Like the pregnant belly
Of judgment?

I know I’m being harsh
I know I’m being cruel
I guess I just don’t “measure” up
You most certainly don’t “measure” inside

I suffer from stupid-girl syndrome
Or so I’ve been told,
But it is only stupid because
I see how you see me

But, I refuse to believe
In your insecurity
Or in your so-called-ever-present
Maturity

Growth

It is hard to be perfect
Never making mistakes
Never loosing my temper
Always playing fair

It is difficult to be flawless
Trying to fit in
In an imperfect world
As the eye of the storm

It is complicated to be pure
Never doubting my beliefs
Never crying over silly things
Remaining strong, firm and established

It is tricky to be picky
With everything in its place
No dust in the wrong places
No stains on my character

I have only one wish
Just one thing missing
I cannot seem to grab hold of
Lessons, learning, life…love?

All Day Long

I woke up alone this morning,
Watched the sun rise,
Read some poetry,
Sat on my porch.
I missed you.

I walked alone today,
Went to class,
Studied for an exam,
Wrote an exam.
I missed you.

I went swimming after noon,
Walked past your house,
Sat on my porch,
Wrote this poem in bed.
Because I missed you.

Daydreams

I want to be a writer.
I keep thinking
That
If I just hold my pen
A certain way
It
Will change the
Shape of my words

To me they sound peaceful
And flowing
But
If I am not
Holding my pen just so,
Maybe you hear something different.

Something
Scratchy
And
Pale
Like
Last week’s newspaper
Crackling in the fire

My grip tightens
And I write faster all the while
Wondering—do you hear
What I hear
When you see
These words?

Maybe if I place my fingers a little farther back on the pen and hold on just a little looser.

Does it get quieter for you too?

I Feel Loved

I’ve been walking this road
Alone for a while
Thinking the fairytale would never
Come true
I forget the promises you sent me
And I drifted away
Caught in the valley of temptation

It’s wouldn’t have been right
I wouldn’t be pure
And I let my dreams interfere
With your precious plan
But I remember now
I can see your light
I can see you’re right
And I feel loved

Lesson learned
You let me try
Then I was reminded of
The promise I made
You have given me the gift of patience
Your perfect grace gently awakened my soul
Angels as friends surround me

But I remember now
I can see your light
I can see you’re right
And I feel loved
It wasn’t right
I was wrong
To stray away so far
It wasn’t right

But I remember now
I can see your light
I can see you’re right
And I feel loved!

Mind Games

Did I bite my thumb at you sir?
Did you give me a thought impure?
Helpless am I who is unpluck’d
You enter my thoughts for I’m struck’d
By lightning, by storm, steaming bright.
I want not to be here at night.
Can you see this lust is not right?

Such torture, such pain is down there.
For cursed you are with no care.
With this trap and this dooming choice,
I have fear of losing my voice.
The game we did play, you were away,
A way to my mind by your say.
Now come for me, this time to stay.

The Forgotten

He loves me
he loves me not
But
he forgets
And I do not
Remember that
I am not a circus freak
To be an amusement for your friends

Is he serious?
Did he think?
Of consequences
Of pain
Of laughter
Of her
Me?
Or in stead?
You stud.

I am STRONG
I am WORTHY
I am tempted…here I am …hear…I am
To forget myself
To let him
Not remember
I have the power to say no
I am
I am saved
Lead me not
In to temptation
And deliver me from him
For him?

I dare you.
I DOUBLE DARE YOU

Ten Things I Love About You

I love the way you smile at me
And how it makes me feel,
When I know you’re just appearing nice
Like maybe I should kneel.

I love the way you glace right through
My face like I’m not there.
I love the way you know just how
To fade the confidence I bear

I love the way you don’t understand
How I cry at night, alone
Because I love the way you don’t know
Not everyone has someone of their own

I love the way you were not the first
To scar my bleeding heart
I love the way I will eventually learn
Which sweets will turn to tart

But mostly dearest, I love the way
I don’t blame you for my trouble,
For it’s plain to see when I find the right
Man my pleasure it will be double.

I Quit

I lost my cherry.
“It’s under the chair.”
The ultimate sacrifice
“For me or for him?”
She crys
Outloud
For the fifteenth time.

Can I do it this time?
Can I commit?
With my heart,
And my brain,
And my health?
My treasure is yours.
Will you ask for it?
Will I offer?

I am torn inside,
With fear and contentment.
For I know this lovely
Will not last.
I’ll start, and I’ll panic
And I’ll get the shakes…
All for the loss of a cherry

Faking It

Found
One oversized friendship
Too late and too tired
Crisp, sharp, twisted smiles
Plastic faces meet vinyl laughter

Vocal squares
Recorded greetings
Hitting me over the head
Looking for the warmth
Of his

Rough fingers traveling east
Walking through the sand
Desire sings and cackles
Imaginations soar
Found

Speechless

I would like to tell you
But I can’t
Won’t
Really should not
I think

About time, about vision
You have it
I do not
My feelings have been hurt
My language is now weak

I can’t write of my love
In flowing
Languid tones
I will not cry anymore
I think

Selfish, loud and unhealthy
Not my original
But mine just the same
So you say
And I lied

I would like to tell you
But I can’t
I hope you can feel it
And know
My bruised heart is yours

Just thought you should know
I love you and always have

Welcome!

Welcome!

This is a site where you will find all of my poetry...enjoy...or don't...it's up to you.